My friend, you must not be better than me

What are your terms & conditions for you to remain as friends  with someone? With the scenario below, will you still want to be friends with them?

  • They are more intelligent than you
  • They are financially better than you
  • They are more enterprising than you (or)
  • They do not engage in time wasting activities like you

Or are you the type of person that is only a friend as long as he/she is not better than you.

Sad to say, my comments and observation comes not only from people’s friends but also some of my personal experience. I have lost quite a number of friends over the years. Once you begin to progress ahead of them, somehow, jealousy, envy, dissatisfaction, etc. creeps in. It is reflected in their attitude towards you. Activities and communication of all sorts begin to decrease. Slowly but surely you’re made an outcast. The person is not only behaving negatively towards you but also influencing the other friends to do likewise. Even in a normal conversation, they’re consistently directly/indirectly launching a verbal attack on you.

Of course in terms of activities, we all have our likes and dislikes. Some people’s “Likes” may be “vices” to others. So why force people to follow and if they don’t – Judge them?

It is sad. Sad that people only want to remain as friends if you’re in a worse situation than them. Call it insecurity, attention deprived, etc – such an attitude is simply unjustifiable.

So what do we do? Sit and sulk? Get depressed? Not worth it I say. Why waste time and energy sulking or be unhappy over such shallow people? True friends will motivate and encourage you and want to see you do well in life. So when the true colors of so-called “friends” surface, then it is time to cut the “baggage” and go look for new friends.

Personally I have a larger circle of friends now. Some are in a better situation then I am while some are catching up. Similarity we all share is that we motivate and encourage each other. We accept each other’s differences. Our actions and words are such that no man gets left behind. We will reach the top together, some a little earlier, some a little later but eventually all will reach the top.

Don’t feel that you’re compelled to stick and comply to a particular group of friends for life. Only friends who desire to see you do well are
TRUE friends. Likewise we to must be a TRUE friend.


One thought on “My friend, you must not be better than me

  1. Ever heard of the saying “Yan Bei Yan, Bei Sei Yan” in Cantonese? A loose translation in English would be “It will be the death of you if you start comparing people with people”.

    I believe that saying to be very wise. We should not be comparing for comparison’s sake. Who’s to say which is better? If one is financially better off, is he/she better than another? If one has high IQ, is he/she better than another? We cannot know for sure until we know all the information regarding the two persons we are comparing.


    Person A is a millionaire and has an IQ of 180. He has a high ranking job and is surrounded by luxuries. Drives expensive cars and have holiday villas all over the world.

    Person B is a normal wage earner. Has normal IQ and drives a Proton Saga. Lives in a modest house and is still paying the mortgage.

    Who is better?

    Person A? Or is it Person B?

    If you say Person A is better then will you still say that if I tell you:

    Person A has terminal cancer and is only given 1 year to live. He has a bad relationship with his wife and his wife is having an affair with another man. He has no children and is surrounded by ‘friends’ and relatives that are all after his money and cares not for him as a person.

    If we do not know the whole picture we will not be able to make an accurate judgment. So why judge? We all have our own paths in life. Who’s to say if one is successful or not? Or which is better?

    One does not need to look at things like financial status or intelligence to be a friend with someone. We just need to know as a friend we try to be there when we are needed and try to help out as much as possible. Why complicate matters?

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